


Accidental Baby Acquisition: The Obi-Wan Kenobi Way

by kitkatkaylie



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Prequel Trilogy
Genre: AU, Accidental Baby Acquisition, Baby Anakin, Fluff, Gen, Humour, QUi-Gon enjoys Obi-Wan's suffering, Teen Parent Obi-Wan, Yoda is a little shit
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-05-13
Updated: 2019-12-04
Packaged: 2020-03-02 09:08:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 12,325
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18808087
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kitkatkaylie/pseuds/kitkatkaylie
Summary: Shmi Skywalker was desperate, so when she saw a Jedi in the marketplace of Mos Espa she did something that many would judge her for if they knew but just as many would understand.Obi-Wan Kenobi was just browsing the market, he has no idea how the baby ended up in his robe, honest.A slightly cracky au in which Obi-Wan raises Anakin from a newborn and suffers along the way.Based on 'The one where Obi-Wan Kenobi kidnaps a baby' thread by suzukiblu





	1. In which Shmi is a reverse pick-pocketer

**Author's Note:**

  * For [suzukiblu](https://archiveofourown.org/users/suzukiblu/gifts).



> This is not serious at all, like honestly its just all fluff with a little humour mixed in.

If anyone were ever to ask Shmi why she did what she did she would simply say desperation. Of course, no one ever would know what she did, and if they had then well, no one particularly cared for the reasoning of a slave.

The disappearance of her son, her light, could be passed off as his death after the birth, it was not something uncommon on a planet where even the wealthy were often dehydrated and malnourished. No one would question it.

In actuality her Ani would be far from the masters, far from her, happy and healthy.

The idea came to her when her darling was but a few hours old and she was carrying him, tucked against her chest, swaddled in the single blanket she owned. The idea came in the form of a brown robe, known to all downtrodden throughout the galaxy as a symbol of hope. She wasn’t delusional, she knew the figure could not interfere in Hutt space, they did not have the jurisdiction, but once her angel was in their possession well, they would be honour bound to care for him. Especially considering the powerful Force presence even she could feel from him.

When she got closer, she could see the figure was but a young teen, it did not matter. He would still be able to care for her child better than she could.

Her decision was made, despite the pain it caused her. There were only two things she could give him, his freedom and his name. His name would be more difficult to pass on but not impossible, she may be mostly illiterate but she knew her alphabet enough to be able to spell his name for it was the name of hr brother, the one who had been sold from her when they were but children.

The sight of Jira was a blessing, Jira would provide her with the flimsi she needed to write his name down. Jira may be free but she had lost many of her own children to the harsh suns of the desert, she would not judge Shmi for getting her child off world. The scrap of flimsi she was provided with was small but enough for her to crudely scrawl the letters of Anakin’s name.

She tucked it deftly into his wrappings, pressed a final gentle his forehead and made her move. She dodged around the others in the marketplace and then, with a lightness of movement that a professional pickpocket would be proud of, tucked her child into the voluminous pockets of the Jedi’s robe.

As she moved away before she could be noticed she sent off a quick prayer to the gods of her childhood she was no longer sure she believed in and felt a tear drip down her cheek.

Her Anakin would have a better life without her. It was for the best, but it did not stop the hurt in her heart.

* * *

 

Obi-Wan Kenobi had a hatred for desert planets that was probably unbecoming of a Jedi but it was not an unfounded hatred. He always left the planet as pink as his friend Bant no matter how much sun cream he applied and it never failed to make his master laugh.

He had been sent to the market to collect some supplies for their ship while his master and Master Tahl went to speak with Jabba the Hutt. Bant had been left on the ship, her physiology being even less suited to the desert than Obi-Wan’s own.

It did not help that he was still technically recovering from a nasty strain of the Corellian Flu that he had picked up on their last mission. He was no longer infectious or displaying any of the symptoms but he was still tired from fighting off the disease.

These were all the excuses that he would use later when questioned as to why he did not notice the sudden weight in the pocket of his robe.

Not that it mattered after all, he would still be teased about it for the next few decades of his life.

But at that moment in time, as he browsed the market stalls and cursed the suns in the sky, he was blissfully unaware of the mockery and destruction of his dignity that awaited in the not too distant future.

His arms were full of packages as he returned to the blessed cool of the ship where he was greeted by one of his best friends Bant who helped him put away the fresh produce he had purchased. His robe he took off and draped on the back of a chair in the galley on the way to take advantage of the sonics, eager to remove the sand that had crept its way beneath his tunics.

When he exited the sonics once more dressed it was to find his master and master Tahl had returned from their negotiations with Jabba and they were stood staring at his robe in confusion.

“Padawan, your robe seems to be screaming.” Master Qui-Gon said, raising an eyebrow at him.

Obi-Wan just looked at him in confusion before hearing it too, the thin reedy cries that appeared to be emanating from his robe.

They all stood and stared at it for a moment longer, utterly confused, before master Tahl clicked her tongue in irritation and strode forward. She rooted through the pockets and emerged with a baby, who could be no more than a few hours old.

“Congratulations Padawan Kenobi,” She said with a smirk, “It looks like you’re a father.”

Obi-Wan gaped at both her and the baby in question before his eyes rolled up into his head and he fainted.

* * *

 

When he came to, it was to the sight of his grinning master holding the tiny baby.

“For all your complaints about my pathetic life forms padawan it seems you are worse than I. at least I have never found a very force sensitive baby in my pocket.”

Obi-Wan glared at him, his master thought he was so funny. The child was still crying, pathetic little whimpers that broke Obi-Wan’s heart.

The child was passed to him, despite his protests, and instantly quieted down, Obi-Wan then felt a very insistent prod at his mind which could only have come from the child in his arms. The prod conveyed a fierce hunger and a displeasure at being unclean.

It was at that precise moment that Obi-Wan realised they had nothing appropriate for a child on board the ship.

Obviously, he did the sane, rational thing that any calm, collected Jedi would do. He started to panic.

The baby would need clothes. And food. And nappies. And, and, and…

It was only when a heavy hand pressed into his shoulder that Obi-Wan realised he had started to hyperventilate and was clutching the child to his chest.

“Live in the moment padawan.” Qui-Gon said and that so wasn’t helpful. He was in the moment kriff dammit and in this moment, he had no supplies to deal with a baby he hadn’t even known was in his karking robe!

His thoughts must have shown up on his face because Qui-Gon’s expression softened, “Tahl is getting some things for him now padawan, apparently she doesn’t trust me not to come back with a baby of my own. Now shall we get him cleaned up a little?”

Obi-Wan nodded, unable to feel annoyed as he usually did when confronted with that particular tone of Qui-Gon’s. He slowly stood up, still clutching the baby to his chest, for some reason he didn’t want to let him go at all.

The two entered the galley where Bant had filled a large mixing bowl with warm water and laid out one of their softer towels next to it. There were a number of ways in which she took after her master and being ridiculously hypercompetent was just one of them.

It was with gentle hands that she took the baby from Obi-Wan and pressed a datapad into his hands in replacement.

“There’s a few articles on child care on there Obi, you read them while I give this little one a proper wash.” She said as she unwrapped the child from the ragged blanket he had been swaddled in. “Seeing as, oh apparently he’s a he, likes you best you’re probably going to be the one caring for him on this journey.”

A piece of flimsi fell to the floor as she lifted the baby out of his blanket covering and placed him in the bowl of water. Obi-Wan watched out of the corner of his eye as his master darted down to collect the piece of ragged flimsi and stare at it with an expression usually reserved for checking his maths homework. The sort of expression that relayed intense confusion and concentration.

“It appears the child’s name is Anakin?” He eventually said “Either that or its in a language I do not know.”

Obi-Wan tried to restrain the snort, he really did, but it escaped his lips anyway. The glare he was shot was entirely worth it.

The baby, Anakin, cooed happily from the water, his tiny hands flailing through it splashing water everywhere. Or at least until his force presence suddenly soured, the air once again filled with pitiful cries and large fat tears rolled down his scrunched-up face.

Bant’s face just as suddenly changed from its placid expression to panic, she had never been good around crying younglings, even when they were both younglings. When Obi-Wan looked at Qui-Gon as if expecting him to do something he just received a raised eyebrow. It looked like this was going to be his retribution for the snort.

He cringed slightly as he plucked the wet baby out of the water, he hated messing up his tunics but there was nothing else he could do. It wasn’t like he could just leave a crying baby in the now cooling water.

Anakin wriggled far too much for him to feel comfortable holding him with just one hand so it was with a slightly guilty frivolous use of the force that he managed to get the soft towel wrapped around the wet baby.

The cries lessened slightly when Anakin was cradled in his arms but they were replaced by pitiful sobs and whines of hunger along with more prodding of his force presence against Obi-Wan’s mind.

Much to Obi-Wan’s relief it was not long that Tahl returned to the ship with some of the supplies she had gone to collect. The most important, for that moment at least, was the bottle and formula suitable for a new-born baby.

Still not trusting Anakin to just one hand he looked pleadingly at Bant who rolled her eyes but made him up a bottle, she really was the best.

It took Anakin very little time to latch onto the bottle and start drinking with a fierceness that belied his tiny body. He made it halfway through the bottle before pulling away and making a disgruntled noise, luckily Obi-Wan had just read what that meant in one of the articles Bant had found him so gently raised the baby to his shoulder and patted him on the back. While he was expecting the burp, he most certainly was not expecting the spit up milk down the back of his tunics.

It was warm and gross and eww.

He could see a complete lack of clean tunics in his future.

Anakin adamantly refused to drink anymore of the bottle and instead wrapped his hand around Obi-Wan’s braid and snuggled himself into his tunics before falling fast asleep. Obi-Wan stared at the baby with wide eyes and attempted to untangle his braid from the tiny fist with no success whatsoever.

He must have looked rather pitiful because his master leaned forwards and helped him to untangle the baby and lay him down so they could get him dressed in one of the outfits Tahl had brought.

After they put him in a nappy first of course.

The onesie they put the baby in was, quite frankly, adorable. It was a pale blue patterned with astromechs and one of the softest things Obi-Wan had ever touched.

He must have looked absolutely besotted as he gently ran a finger over the tufts of downy blond hair on the baby’s head, even more so when tiny hands grabbed hold of his finger. His master gave him a fond look, one that Obi-Wan couldn’t really recall seeing before.

Then again, he had only been apprenticed to the man for a just over two years.

They managed to leave the planet without any further mishaps, Anakin slept straight through take-off and their entrance into hyperspace but unfortunately, he couldn’t stay asleep for the whole journey back to Coruscant.

He woke after a few hours, pouring his distress into the force and screaming his little heart out. The screams only intensified when Qui-Gon or Tahl attempted to approach him and Bant didn’t even try. Obi-Wan did not receive that reaction, in fact the screams reduced in intensity when he approached. That meant he was the one who had to deal with the stink Anakin had left them in his nappy, a stink which was amazingly disgusting and pungent to have come from one so small.

Obi-Wan really wanted to know what he had done to piss the force off this much.

It was two handfuls of baby wipes and three attempts later that Anakin was rewrapped up in a new nappy, and Obi-Wan honestly didn’t want to know about the stain now on his left sleeve. He redressed the baby in another onesie, this one patterned with tiny cartoon banthas. The fifteen-year-old padawan found himself crooning at the tiny baby and trying to encourage him to drink just a little bit more of his bottle.

He steadfastly ignored the holos a very unsubtle Qui-Gon was taking in the background.

After going through the whole burping routine again with Anakin and once more being spat up on the tiny terror decided to grab his padawan braid and stuff it into his mouth. It was very rude in Obi-Wan’s opinion, and so he determinedly tried to entice the baby into replacing his braid with a dummy.

It was a pattern that replayed itself every few hours for the week that passed until they arrived back at the Temple. During that week every tunic Obi-Wan owned managed to be stained by some sort of fluid and he was at a level of sleep deprivation he hadn’t even reached when fighting on Melidia/Daan.

The others on the ship had tried to help him with Anakin but the baby had screamed like he was being tortured if anyone but Obi-Wan picked him up and had started to whimper if Obi-Wan left the room he was in for more than a few minutes.

And so, it was an exhausted and unusually scruffy Padawan Kenobi who reported to the Council with his very amused master and the for once not throwing a tantrum baby still cradled in his arms.

“Where did you get the baby Padawan Kenobi?” Master Windu said, leaning forward.

“He appeared in my robe pocket master while we were on Tatooine.” Obi-Wan said, diligently ignoring the spike of amusement from his master at his words.

“I see. And how did you not notice the infant being placed in your pocket Padawan Kenobi?”

“I’m not sure Master Windu,” Obi-Wan replied, “The market I was in was rather busy and I suppose I was being more careful about someone removing something from my pocket than placing something in.”

That gained him a light chuckle from Master Koon and the hint of a smile from Master Windu.

“Aware of your surroundings you should always be. Learn this you should. To aid you, care for the child you will. To the creche he will go eventually but for now, care for him will be your job.” Master Yoda pronounced, giving Obi-Wan a stern look even as Obi-Wan attempted not to let the dismay he felt show on his face.

“Yes, Master Yoda.”


	2. In which the Creche requires a receipt

“We can’t take any child without a receipt.” Creche Master Dolan said without any inflection of amusement in his tone. Obi-Wan would have admired his sabaac face under any circumstances other than the ones he was currently in.

The creche was refusing to take Anakin from him and the creche masters were not even trying to hide the way their amusement was being broadcast in the force. It was patently unfair and if Qui-Gon didn’t wipe that smirk off his face then Obi-Wan was going to do something horrible to him.

Possibly hide one of Anakin’s dirty nappies in his bed.

Or one of his boots.

“Please Master Dolan? I can’t look after him, what if I get sent on a mission? Or he becomes ill?” Obi-Wan pleaded, not even trying to keep the desperation out of his voice.

Dolan’s face softened slightly, “I’m sorry Padawan Kenobi, but the council has already sent us a message saying that he is your responsibility until they say otherwise. They did say though that we could provide you with the equipment to take care of him and some lessons on child care.”

Obi-Wan valiantly resisted the urge to put his face in his hands, not only was that impossible as he held a squirming baby, but it would probably give his master far too much amusement.

“I see.” He managed to say once he was sure his exasperation wouldn’t filter into his voice, “I would be most grateful for the instruction Master Dolan. And for any resources you might provide me.”

That earned him a small smile and he was ushered into one of the storage rooms adjacent to the creche, the one where they kept some of the equipment needed for caring for babies. It took but a quick glance of the creche master at Obi-Wan’s still occupied hands before they called a delivery droid to accompany them and carry what was needed back to Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon’s quarters.

The creche master bustled around the room, noting things down on a pad and occasionally looking over at Anakin as though attempting to gauge his size.

“Well I can set you up with a crib, bedding, bottles and some toiletries for him as well as a few toys, but I’m afraid we don’t have any clothing available in his size at the moment seeing as he is s very small. You’ll need to go and buy some although I can at least authorise you to receive funds to do so.” Dolan said with a slight frown.

“Thank you master.” Obi-Wan said softly, not wanting to wake up an Anakin who was finally asleep.

“You’re most welcome Padawan Kenobi, now I think you and the little one have an appointment with the healers to attend?”

 

* * *

 

Chief Healer Vokara Che had an expression of the utmost delight upon Obi-Wan voluntarily entering her Healing wards. She fought a constant battle to get the padawan to submit to the necessary medical care, a battle that was only worsened by the boy’s master and his own bad habits.

She had heard about the baby, most people in the Temple had by this time, and was going to use it to get the boy to receive regular check-ups, even if she had to resort to blackmail.

Obi-Wan occasionally felt a little guilt over the torment he put the healers through, but it was never enough to convince him that they were are benign as everyone else claimed. Healers were evil and n one could convince him otherwise.

The grin on Che’s face just corroborated his hypothesis.

“So good to see no one needed to track you down for your post-mission check-up Padawan Kenobi.” She said.

It was a very dignified shove of the baby at the healers, despite whatever Qui-Gon might say, that he used in an attempt to get out of the conversation.

“I’m sure you’ve heard where Anakin here came from but he needs a full check over and probably some vaccines and also doesn’t have a birth certificate.” He most certainly did not babble.

Master Che took Anakin from his arms and cooed down at the thankfully asleep baby. She bustled around the room with him, doing various healery-things that Obi-Wan did not understand before returning him to Obi-Wan’s arms just as he started to wake up.

“Well Padawan, I can confirm that Anakin here is on the smaller size for a child of his age, but does seem to be perfectly healthy otherwise. Keep feeding him regularly and he should grow with no problems. I can give him his first round of vaccinations now and will schedule the others he might need for a later date.” She smiled reassuringly at him, “As to a birth certificate, that we can draw up easily. Do you know his surname or would you like us to choose one for him?”

“We only know his first name Master, could you choose one please?” Obi-Wan responded, bouncing a pouting Anakin in his arms in the hopes of staving off a tantrum.

“Of course, padawan. Now, hold the little one still a minute and be prepared for some tears.”

The healer advanced on the whining baby with a hypospray containing the first round of vaccinations Anakin would need. She set the syringe against his arm and quickly pressed down as Anakin’s whimpers turned into full blown screams.

“Well he certainly has a pair of lungs on him. We’ll prepare the birth certificate for him, it should be done within the next week or so. bring him back in a fortnight for another check-up and his next round of vaccinations. If there are any problems before then don’t hesitate to bring him in.” She smiled gently at Obi-Wan, “And breathe padawan, you’ve managed to take good care of him so far, you shouldn’t doubt yourself so much.”

 

* * *

 

“So who’s the squirt attached to you braid Obi?” Garen asked almost the moment Obi-Wan let him and the rest of his friends into his quarters.

“That’s Anakin,” Bant responded, “Obi-Wan’s robe gave birth to him and he hates everyone but Obi.”

There were a few seconds of silence as they tried to process what Bant had just said before: “You’re shitting me!” Quinlan Vos announced.

“Technically Ani here was placed in my robe, I just didn’t notice that he had been until we were back on the ship and he started crying.”

“Language Padawan Vos,” Qui-Gon intoned, peering his head through from the kitchenette.

“Sorry Master Jinn,” Quinlan said, not looking sorry at all, “But why isn’t the sprog in the creche? That’s where we had to take Aayla when we found her.”

“Master Yoda thinks it will be good practise for being mindful of my surroundings. And the creche won’t take him without the council’s permission.” Obi-Wan muttered, trying to ignore the smirks of his friends.

“Well I think he’s adorable Obi-Wan.” Siri announced, looking at him with a slightly predatory gaze, “Although I am curious as to where you found the onesie with lightsabres on it. I thought the creche only stocked solid colour outfits?”

Obi-Wan coloured slightly, “There’s a shop just outside the Temple that does them, the creche didn’t have any outfits in Anakin’s size, they don’t normally get babies so young. Although they were at least able to provide me with a crib for him.”

Anakin started to wail once again, obviously not liking that Obi-Wan was focussing on someone who wasn’t him. A quick brush against his mind told Obi-Wan that he was hungry so he took the opportunity and all but shoved Anakin into Garen’s arms.

“Here, hold him while I prepare his bottle.”

He made his escape into the kitchen, trying to ignore the increase in volume of the wails as they took on a heartbroken tone at his abandonment. It was deft hands that prepared the bottle of formula, he had become good at making it over the past week with a bay in his arms, without the child it was a piece of cake to do. He also took the opportunity to prepare a tray of tea and caff for him and his friends, he needed the caffeine if nothing else.

Anakin’s wails had trailed off into soft whimpers of pure misery by the time he returned not five minutes later, Garen looked as though he wished to join him in sobbing and the mirth had left the faces of the others. Obi-Wan was not at all ashamed to feel a little vindictive pleasure over that.

He placed the tray down and sat back in his chair, holding out his arms to which a grateful Garen happily plonked Anakin back in.

“Now then little one, lets see if we can finish the whole thing now hmm?” He crooned softly at the baby, holding the bottle to his tiny mouth.

He grabbed the cloth hanging over the arm of his chair and slung it over his shoulder before raising Anakin to burp him, he was so thankful to the creche assistant who had introduced him to burping cloths. So, so thankful.

Anakin did his customary spit up and then grabbed back at Obi-Wan’s braid, attempting to stuff it in his mouth in its entirety. Obi-Wan was going to need to wash his braid so much when Anakin was finally allowed in the creche before it felt clean again.

“No Ani, come on. Take the dummy. Its much nicer than my hair.” He said, trying to negotiate his hair out of Anakin’s mouth.

“I don’t think I’ve ever been so pleased Aayla was two when we found her than I am now,” Quinlan muttered, not even trying to be subtle.

A comm chimed somewhere in the apartment and he could vaguely hear the sound of his master’s voice before said man swept into the main room.

“Come on Obi-Wan, put that on.” He said, throwing something at his padawan, “We’ve been summoned before the council for a mission briefing.”

Obi-Wan picked up the piece of cloth he had been thrown and untangled it to reveal a baby harness.

“Really master?”

“You can’t just hold Anakin in your arms all the time, a baby harness is a perfectly valid way to carry him. Now hurry up and put it on.”

Grumbling, Obi-Wan did as instructed. It was a simple enough thing to put on, the biggest trouble was putting Anakin down long enough to actually do so. His trouble seemed to prompt more mirth from his friends before they were shooed out of the quarters by Qui-Gon. Each made their goodbyes as they left and promised to come round again to see Anakin some other time, Obi-Wan did not like the assumption that he would still have Anakin after whatever mission they were sent on.

He did not like it at all.


	3. In which taking a baby on a mission is not a complete disaster

This was going to go terribly. Obi-Wan just knew it. And knowing his luck it would go terribly in a way that made it inappropriate for him to tell his master ‘I told you so’.

Taking a month-old baby on a mission was almost guaranteed to be a huge clusterfuck and probably made him a really irresponsible caretaker but Yoda had forbidden him from handing Anakin into the creche.

To add insult to injury Anakin’s birth certificate had come through before they left and his surname was apparently ‘Kenobi’. Obi-Wan blamed Yoda for this.

He also blamed Yoda for Anakin being listed as his son on both the birth certificate and the travel documents they had.

Both Yoda and Qui-Gon would be receiving a dirty nappy hidden among their possessions once the mission was over, that was for certain.

Apparently, it was a safe mission to take Anakin on because it was just to oversee the signing of a treaty. Obi-Wan did not quite believe them because the number of times a signing had become violent was far more numerous than the number of times it had gone well.

The one saving grace was that the treaty signing was on Alderaan, over the line of succession. There was very little of it that could potentially go wrong. And at least the clean air of Alderaan was nice change from Coruscant while the gentle warmth was a nice difference from the past few missions to worlds of varying states of desert they had been sent on.

Obi-Wan hadn’t had a chance to look over the mission briefing in the detail he normally did, Anakin had managed to prevent that with a rather spectacular tantrum. It seemed that throwing tantrums was the baby’s favourite thing to do.

Anakin was still in that force damned baby carrier against his chest, it was massively undignified but let Obi-Wan use both hands. While he could use his hands he could not, however, turn his head very much as Anakin had once again latched onto his braid with surprising strength for one so small.

“Ow, Anakin. That does hurt you know, you little devil child.” He muttered, trying to convince the baby to swap his braid for a dummy. It had turned into an ongoing battle, one which he won maybe half the time. Garen had made a comment about how he should just tie the dummy to his braid but Obi-Wan wasn’t that desperate. Yet.

His master sniggered at Obi-Wan’s words but was thankfully prevented by commenting by the approach of the Alderaani diplomats.

“Senator Antillies, its good to see you again.” Qui-Gon said, clasping the hands of the lead diplomat and Obi-wan did vaguely recognise him from past visits to the senate.

“Likewise, Master Jinn, and this must be Padawan Kenobi.” The senator turned to him before his face did a funny spasm as he caught sight of Anakin, “And who is this little one?”

“That’s Anakin, he is under my padawan’s care for the foreseeable future.” And thank the force Master Qui-Gon stepped in because Obi-Wan really didn’t have an explanation beyond ‘he manifested in my robe and the council is punishing me and/or my master for something’.

“You simply must introduce him to my niece, she has a soft spot for little ones.” Senator Antilles said reaching out a finger to stroke Anakin’s chubby cheek.

“I’d be happy to sir.” Obi-Wan responded, trying desperately not to wince as Anakin gave another sharp tug on his braid.  

 

* * *

 

“Oh, he’s adorable!” 16-year-old Breha Antilles cooed as she cradled Anakin in her arms, “And so calm!”

The heir to the throne of Alderaan looked so comfortable with Anakin and for a brief moment Obi-Wan could see her: older, sadder with a different baby cradled as the stars went out. He stumbled with the force of it, and the sheer feeling of loss that accompanied it. Yet at the same time he received the feeling that it was no longer something that would come to pass, a timeline that would no longer be.

A pulse of concern echoed along the bond he shared with his master and some of the ladies of the court fluttered around him, concerned by his stumble. Obi-Wan sent a pulse of reassurance back along the bond, even as he reassured the ladies out loud, excusing his stumble with the unseasonably warm weather.

One of the ladies, Rouge he thought her name was, pursed her lips slightly and all but pushed him into one of the delicate metal benches that dotted the garden they were in. No sooner had he sat than a cool glass was pushed into his hand, one he drank from under her watchful eye. For all that she couldn’t have been many years older than he was it was strangely maternal and her mannerisms reminded him almost of Tahl.

It was only when the glass was empty that he was handed back Anakin, the baby having become fussy after being passed around so many strangers. Anakin calmed almost instantly upon being placed back in Obi-Wan’s arms and his tiny mouth curved into his first smile.

Obi-Wan watched it, enraptured, he had never seen something so perfect in his life.

 

* * *

 

The quarters they had been given had been quite obviously never intended to house a baby, when they arrived at the rooms originally to deposit their bags there had been nothing suitable for the care of a child besides what they had brought with them. When they returned before dinner to freshen up however a crib and other assorted baby care items had materialised in the centre of the main room.

Obi-Wan barely gave them a glance however as he rushed through to the elaborate bathroom to change Anakin’s nappy before it exploded again. For one so small Anakin was a master at creating large, stinky messes.

He was lucky this time and managed to exchange the pieces of cloth before it would have become necessary to change Ani’s clothes as well, less lucky when he needed to do another change barely five minutes later.

“You’re a little menace, yes you are, yes you are.” He cooed, tickling the pudgy tummy in front of him. From the main room he could hear the muffled chuckle of his master, for some reason the man seemed to find his interactions with Anakin amusing.

He pulled Anakin’s lightsabre patterned baby-grow back on and carried him back through to see if there was somewhere he could deposit him while he freshened up. He was slightly taken aback when upon entering the main room the pile of baby stuff had disappeared.

Although it didn’t take a genius to work out where it went, judging by the muffled curses and bang coming from the slightly smaller of the two bedrooms.

“Master?” He said, poking his head into the room, “What are you doing?”

“I think I might be stuck padawan.” Was the answer he received and it was true: The much sought-after negotiator and master of the Jedi Order Qui-Gon Jinn had managed to block himself in between what appeared to be a changing table and a crib.

Obi-Wan grinned and had to restrain himself from finding something so he could take a picture of the event. It wouldn’t do to annoy his master too early into the mission, else he’d be running laps around the grounds before dawn every day.

“Would you like a hand master?” He offered in a tone that was perhaps a shade too innocent.

Qui-Gon shook his head ruefully, “Please. I thought it would be best to set up your and Anakin’s rom before we went to dinner and well, I misjudged the space between these two pieces and now can’t move them.”

Obi-Wan skilfully restrained a sigh and gently placed Anakin down on the centre of the bed, placing pillows around him in a makeshift barrier.

He grabbed hold of the end of the changing table and pulled it just enough to allow his master to escape. “Why couldn’t you move it yourself master?”

His master looked very sheepish, “I couldn’t push it, the angle was wrong to get a proper leverage.”

He really wanted to make a comment on how his master could have used the force to free himself, seeing as he was a Jedi Master. but that would also have netted him revenge in the form of pre-dawn laps.

He quickly straightened his tunics out and attempted to neaten his padawan braid, it was an overall useless endeavour considering that it was Anakin’s favourite toy, but he lived in perpetual hope of it remaining neat one day.

 

* * *

 

The meal was incredibly formal as all Alderaani events were, he and his master had been split, with Obi-Wan sent to what no one was calling the children’s table but everyone knew it was.

He was seated next to a boy in the colours of House Organa and had a highchair on his other side with a bottle already prepared and waiting for him to give to Anakin. He was relieved that they wouldn’t need to wait for the food so for Anakin to be fed as Anakin had proved exceptional at throwing a tantrum when he was hungry.

A Force fuelled tantrum which meant that things flew around.

Anakin drank greedily from the bottle and for once managed to not spit up on Obi-Wan when he was burped. He then sat contentedly in the highchair with a sensory toy Obi-Wan had brought from their rooms.

“You’re good with him.” The boy next to him commented, causing Obi-Wan to startle slightly, he had forgotten there was even someone there whilst he was taking care of Anakin. “My sisters had said as much, they’re of the belief that he is one of the cutest things they’ve ever seen.”

Obi-Wan refrained from the comment he really wanted to make about how the boy was one of the cutest things he’d ever seen, it wouldn’t have been appropriate, “Thank you, but to be quite honest I’m really hoping I can turn him into the creche when we get back. Its surprisingly difficult to attend class or practise katas when I’m supposed to also be looking after a baby.”

“I can imagine.” The boy laughed, he stuck out his hand, “I’m Bail by the way. Bail Organa.”

Obi-Wan shook his hand, “I’m Obi-Wan Kenobi and this little one is Anakin.”

Bail Organa, where did Obi-Wan recognise the name from? Ahh, that was it! He was one of the claimants for the throne, his parents had pushed him forward to contest the heirship of Breha Antilles. Or at least, that was what the bits of the briefing packet he had actually managed to read had said.

“How did you come to be caring for Anakin anyway?” Bail questioned, just as the first course was bought out.

Obi-Wan regaled him with the tale of how he ended up caring for the baby while they ate the delicate courses of food. It wasn’t until the dessert had been served that he could begin a subtle enquiry of Bail’s view of the current situation on Alderaan.

It turned out that he had a whole rant saved up on the situation, that he didn’t want to be king of the planet, if anything he wanted to become a senator, and he didn’t see why his parents were pushing for it except to cause discord in an attempt to gain power.

It was all very useful and Obi-Wan knew he was being told it because Bail wanted him to know, wanted him to do something about it. He thought it over wile finishing the last bite of the decadent dessert.

“And what do you think of the Princess?”

The flush on Bail’s face told him everything he needed to know.

 

* * *

 

The princess of Alderaan was beautiful and regal in the traditional white gown of her role, the faint orange light of her prosthetic heart and lungs shining through. Her serene face was a stark contrast to the sneering face of the courtier currently yelling.

“Pfft!” Anakin blew a raspberry and threw his soft toy at the courtier.

A sudden silence filled the room as the toy hit the courtier in the forehead. Then a snicker started up in one of the corners of the room, it spread quickly and Obi-Wan could see rage start to fill the courtier’s face.

“Why you little brat,” He sneered.

“Lord Verlaine.” Breha snapped, “Refrain from insulting our honoured guests. They are here because we invited them and so should be treated with the respect they deserve.”

The courtier blanched at the reprove from the princess, and scurried to apologise.

“It seems to me,” Qui-Gon spoke up in his I’m-a-wise-Jedi-master-so-you-should-all-listen-to-me tone, “That we should perhaps stop for a break? Tensions are getting high and I’m sure the insult of a Jedi youngling was merely an accident borne of tiredness, don’t you agree Lord Verlaine?”

The lord stuttered with the full force of Qui-Gon’s patented ‘I’m-not-mad-I’m-just-disappointed’ stare on him. Obi-Wan didn’t blame him, that stare had a very guilt inducing effect. A mumbled discussion went around the room before the agreement for them to go to break was decided.

Obi-Wan breathed out a sigh of relief at that, it would give him the chance to attempt to entice Anakin to go to sleep in the baby carrier against his chest which would perhaps save them from another outburst.

“Is he alright?” Obi-Wan looked up from where he was rocking Anakin to meet the eyes of the princess.

“He’s fine, my lady, just a little late for his nap and so starting to get cranky.”

Breha reached out her arms and Obi-Wan placed Anakin in them along with the soft blanket he kept rolled up in his robe pocket for when he couldn’t get Anakin to a crib in time for his nap.

The princess of Alderaan deftly swaddled Anakin and began to rock him gently in her arms, humming a soothing tune all the while. Once Anakin’s eyes had closed and his breathing evened, she kept rocking him, “Would you be able to do me a favour Padawan Kenobi?” she asked with a piercing gaze.

“It depended on the favour, my lady.” Obi-Wan replied honestly, he obviously wasn’t about to kill someone for the princess, no matter how lovely her smile.

“Nothing untoward, jut maybe mention to your master that both Bail and I have a vested interest in the negotiations going the right way and that perhaps there is a simpler answer than our parents are suggesting.” She handed Anakin back to him as the break was called to an end.

Obi-Wan watched her glide back to her original position next to her parents as he thought over what she had said. The simplest way would be to just join the two houses, it would cause the least problems and almost everyone would be happy.

He wrapped Anakin back up in the baby wrap so he was secure against his chest and wove through the crowds of the Alderaani Court to find his master.

“Yes padawan?” His master said with amusement in his voice that Obi-Wan decided to ignore.

“There might be a way to solve this uhh situation master.” Obi-Wan said, “The princess and Bail Organa are fond of one another, that could be a solution.”

His master stroked his beard and gained a thoughtful expression. “Very good work, padawan. I’ll make some enquiries myself but I’m sure we can come up with a solution that makes everyone happy.”

 

* * *

 

“Padawan Kenobi?”

Obi-Wan turned away from the ship he was about to board and towards the person who had called out after him.

“Yes, your highness?” He answered, upon seeing that it was the heir to the throne and her newly betrothed.

“Bail and I wanted to give you and Anakin this,” Breha said, handing him a delicately wrapped box, “Its tradition on Alderaan for friends of the family to give a stuffed toy to new children containing their hopes for the future. We hope we aren’t overstepping by giving this gift.”

Obi-Wan was touched, it was incredibly thoughtful of them to include he and Anakin in such a tradition, he would need to remember it for any future children of theirs.

“I am honoured, my lady.” He bowed, a movement that never ceased to make Anakin squirm.

“Please, call us by our first names, we hope to consider you a friend.” Bail Organa interjected from his place by the princess’ side.

Obi-Wan was flattered, it wasn’t everyday a beautiful princess and her equally attractive fiancé declared friendship.

“Then I am Obi-Wan,” He took a breath, “May I comm you?”

The pair grinned at him and Bail reached out and took his hand, “We would like that very much Obi-Wan.”

When questioned later by Qui-Gon he would fiercely deny that he blushed, despite the fact that it still tinged his features. His master just laughed at him and teased him about being safe, saying he already had one child, he didn’t need another.

His master was a jerk.


	4. In which Anakin helps on a mission

The mission to Alderaan had been such a success that the council seemed to forget the inherent dangers and craziness of a baby accompanying them on a mission, or the ridiculousness of a padawan caring for a child with only the support of their notoriously unreliable master.

Obi-Wan was rather sure that something had infected the Temple’s water supply for them to have thought it was a good idea in the first place. It was only a matter of time before one of the ‘peaceful’ missions they were sent on turned violent. 

And he was right. It was the third mission after Alderaan, on one of the moons of Corellia negotiating the mineral rights between two of the companies who claimed to own them. It just so happened that one of the companies was actually a front for the Black Sun organisation. Because of course it was.

The negotiations went sour rather quickly and it wasn’t long before Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon were fleeing through the streets while fending off mercenaries who wanted them very dead indeed.

“Dada”

It was probably one of the worst moments for Obi-Wan to be distracted considering he was fending off blaster shots from negotiations that had gone sour. But it was Anakin’s first word!

The baby in question was strapped to his back in one of the multiple baby carriers Obi-Wan now owned. From his position off to the side he could see that Qui-Gon also was distracted by the sound and turned his head sharply to see.

“Oh, Ani you clever, clever boy! Such a smart little sunshine yes you are.” Obi-Wan crooned, still deflecting blaster shots. Or at least, still deflecting blaster shots until one of the beings shooting at him realised what was going on.

The being lowered his blaster, “Was that the brat’s first word?”

As Obi-Wan answered in the affirmative to the question the others stopped firing as well.

“Well kark. Where’s the nearest stream?” One of them asked their fellows, a few of them shrugged whilst others looked thoughtful.

Obi-Wan was very confused as they all started talking about whether this stream or that stream was nearer. He could feel confusion echoed down his bond with his master, neither of them knew what the kriff was going on but they weren’t being shot at anymore so yay?

Their attackers had evidently reached a decision as one approached the two Jedi, the pair exchanged looks but powered down their lightsabres as no blasters were being pointed their way any longer.

“Dada” Anakin cooed again, flailing his hand around to grab at Obi-Wan’s braid.

The men flinched and one reached out to the Jedi, “Come. We must take the little one to a stream else bad luck will follow us all.”

It wasn’t a tradition Obi-Wan had heard before but he saw no reason to doubt it was real, there were a myriad of cultures throughout the galaxy and they all had different milestones and celebrations.

He followed after the men, assuming they were being led towards the stream that had ben agreed upon. It wasn’t that he trusted them, more that he trusted the force to warn him should they be being led into a trap.

It was generous to call the trickle of water they were led to a stream. Perhaps just after rain it was more than a trickle of water running through the dirt, but Obi-Wan doubted it had ever been anything impressive.

One of the men made an impatient sound and gestured at the water, “Hold the brat over the water until he speaks again.”

Obi-Wan exchanged a quick glance with his master but did as the man said, holding Anakin until he spoke was better than being shot at. In his experience since starting as a padawan nearly anything was being better than being shot at.

Anakin squirmed in his arms and pulled the face that meant he was making a mess in his nappy again. Obi-Wan’s arms were starting to ache from holding him steady and restraining his squirming when Anakin finally spoke up.

“Dadadadada!” He wailed battering his tiny fists against Obi-Wan’s hands.

The beings knelt by the water and offered up a prayer, asking for a blessing for Anakin and for their own families.

Qui-Gon sent Obi-Wan a bemused look, it wasn’t often that hostilities were halted and then a prayer was offered up for their sakes.

The leader stood up and turned to the Jedi. “Go in peace. We shall not cause harm so long as the child is on planet, witnessing the first words is a sacred act and it would be wrong of us to taint such an act.”

They left, heading back to the site where the negotiations were supposed to occur.

Perhaps they would be easier now.

 

* * *

 

“Let me get this straight,” Master Windu sighed, putting his head in his hands, “There were hostilities between the two groups because one of them was actually the Black Sun organisation, but they were stopped because of a local tradition relating to the first words of a child.”

Obi-Wan and his master both nodded, both restraining the urge to giggle at the utterly done expression on the council’s faces.

“Why is it always you Jinn?” Master Windu eventually said in a tone of utter defeat.

“I have no idea what you are talking about Master Windu.” Qui-Gon said in a far too innocent tone, the tone he put on when he wanted to fuck with the council, “This time it was almost entirely my padawan’s fault.”

Obi-Wan should have expected that.

“Do you agree with your master’s assessment Padawan Kenobi?” Master Plo asked.

Obi-Wan mentally debated the merits of being honest with the council and getting his master in trouble when Anakin decided that he was bored. And a bored Anakin was never a good thing.

“Dadadada!” He screamed, throwing his stuffed lightsabre across the council chamber. Obi-Wan watched in horror as it sailed through the air and hit Master Mundi’s forehead.

“Thank you for your eloquence Anakin.” Master Plo said in a grave tone, “We will take your remarks under advisement.”

Master WIndu gained an expression that suggested he was fending off the start of a migraine, “Just, try not to cause too much trouble in the Temple before we have another mission for you Jinn.”

They both bowed at the council and turned to leave, “Padawan Kenobi?” Master Mundi called after them, causing Obi-Wan to turn back to face him. “I think you might have another tantrum on your hands if you forgot this.”

The Cerean master held out the stuffed lightsabre toy which Obi-Wan took back with a flush on his features, “Thank you Master Mundi. Its Anakin’s favourite at the moment and he’s gained a habit of throwing it around when he’s displeased.”

“I remember when my little ones were that age, they would throw their toys away and then cry when they no longer had them.” Master Mundi smiled, reaching out to gently stroke Anakin’s cheek. “He’ll be teething soon, won’t he?”

Obi-Wan could only stare in horror, he’d forgotten entirely about that aspect of baby care.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I cherish every comment I receive, they never fail to make my day! But I would like to remind you that at no point should this be taken seriously, everyone in this (especially the council) makes stupid choices for the sake of humour. Obviously normally the council would never send a baby on a mission but there wouldn't actually be much of a story without that so...


	5. In which a sleep-deprived padawan hunts for a babysitter

“Baby.” The solemn look on the tiny twi’lek’s face was utterly adorable as she poked at Anakin’s cheek.

“Yes Aayla, this is Anakin. He’s Obi’s baby.” Quinlan said with the biggest shit-eating grin adorning his features.

“Like Aayla is Quin’s?” She questioned, and oh, if Obi-Wan wasn’t already dealing with one small child he would have quite happily claimed her then and there.

“A little bit,” he answered, “I’ve been looking after Anakin since he was a lot smaller than you were when you met Quin though dear one.”

“He was smaller?” Aayla gasped, her lekku twitching in shock, and both Obi-Wan and Quinlan had to resist from cooing at her. She was a Big Girl now and didn’t like being cooed at as though she was a baby.

“Yes, he was only this big when I got him,” Obi-Wan held his hands a distance apart to demonstrate to the toddler how big Anakin had been.

Aayla’s eyes grew in shock, “That’s very small. An’kin play with me now?”

Obi-Wan placed Anakin on the soft floor next to the toddler and the soft blocks she had been playing with when they arrived.

“Gently now Aayla,” Quinlan cautioned, “Why don’t you build a tower and let Ani push it over?”

Aalya nodded determinedly and started to tack the blocks near Anakin, every so often lifting one up for him to see and telling him what the animal on it was called. It was a very sweet scene and Obi-Wan could feel himself relaxing for the first time since he had found Anakin.

Of course his dear friend would ruin it for him.

“What’s this I hear about your mission to Alderaan?” Quinlan asked, a sly smile on his face, “There have been rumours that the princess and her betrothed took quite the shine to you.”

Obi-Wan willed his cheeks not to flush as he determinedly avoided looking at his friend, “They were merely charmed by Anakin, I just happened to be the person attached to him. I’m sure even you would have gained the same attention were you the one to have been holding him.”

Quinlan shot him a look that Obi-Wan couldn’t quite interpret, but it made his cheeks heat all the same, “Suuure Obi, they’ve kept in regular contact with you purely to check up on Anakin.”

He was saved from having to reply by a cry from Anakin. Obi-Wan had become rather good at interpreting Anakin’s cries over the past few months, yet this one was unknown to him.

He rushed to gather Anakin up and attempted to soothe the baby, surreptitiously trying to work out what was wrong. His nappy didn’t need changing, he’d been fed just before they came to the creche and similarly he had woken from a nap not long ago.

It was when Anakin opened his mouth in a huge wail that Obi-Wan realised what was wrong, the baby’s gums were red and inflamed.

“Oh Sunshine, no wonder you’re making such a noise.” He cooed at the still wailing Anakin, “I think you might be teething.”

Out of the corner of his eye he saw Quinlan pale and start to back away towards the door, despite Aayla still being in the room. “Coward” He muttered, as he continued to coo over an in-pain Anakin.

 

* * *

 

It wasn’t long before he was wishing he had followed Quinlan out of the door and away from the wailing baby in his arms. Anakin would not be comforted by anything Obi-Wan did, no matter the tricks he tried that those on the holonet and the creche masters swore by.

Anakin just kept wailing and looking pitiful.

The entire Temple had suffered from a week of broken nights as Anakin wailed loudly enough to wake some, and filled the Force with distress enough to wake others. The only ones unaffected were those in the creche and healing wing, where the walls were soundproofed and fitted with a slight Force dampener.

Life attempted to continue on as normal, though if debates were less intense and spars less fierce no one would be complaining.

According to Master Qui-Gon, who regularly had bitching sessions with Master Yoda, the Council had been inundated with requests for off-world missions, even from those who had been retired for decades! Obi-Wan had not been amused by the laugh in Master Qui-Gon’s tone as he relayed that piece of gossip.

To make matters even worse, Obi-Wan desperately needed a babysitter for Anakin, and the creche had already turned him down. He had an exam that day and couldn’t take a sobbing Anakin along with him, it wouldn’t be fair to anyone in that room – Anakin included. No one wanted to babysit however, and why would they?

Even Obi-Wan, who loved Anakin with a fierceness that still surprised him sometimes, was at the end of his rope. He was struggling with the exhaustion of the rest of the Temple and was ready to curse the council for making him care for Anakin instead of leaving him in the creche as was normal.

His master had left that morning, promising to find Obi-Wan a babysitter for the duration of his exam, claiming he wasn’t able to do it as he had Very Important Business to be doing.

Obi-Wan called bantha-shit on him actually doing anything of importance, most likely Master Qui-Gon would spend the day hiding in the Room of One Thousand Fountains or annoying Master Tahl. But he had promised to find Obi-Wan a babysitter and Obi-Wan did believe him, for some reason.

Time was running out though, his exam started in little under an hour and Obi-Wan was starting to panic just the smallest amount, if he missed this exam he wouldn’t have the chance to retake it for at least another six months, and who knew if he would even be in Temple then?

The door chime rang and Obi-Wan sighed in relief even as the noise made Anakin’s unhappy wails increase in volume. He opened the door and stared in shock, it seemed Qui-Gon had managed to get Master Windu to babysit for him, no matter, he had seen the Korun master in the creche before and he was good with the younglings.

He gestured for Master Windu to enter and, before the master could say anything, pushed Anakin into his arms, grabbed his bag and was halfway out of the door.

“Thank you for doing this Master!” He called back over his shoulder, “There’s teething gel on the sides and a ready-made bottle of formula in the fridge.”

He dashed down the hall to the exam room, his mind now fully focused on the exam.

 

* * *

 

He returned to the apartment he shared with his master an hour or so later, he perhaps hadn’t done quite as well as he might have under different circumstances, but Obi-Wan was sure he had passed.

The corridor outside the apartment was quiet, quieter than it had been all week.

He opened the door, still expecting to hear the wails and whimpers of a tearful Anakin, but was instead met by a sift voice.

“… and then he turned up to the council chamber still covered in mud, because he is a horrible rule breaker. That’s something you shouldn’t do little padawan, you should always remember to listen to the grown ups because we want you to be safe.”

An adorable sight faced him in the main room, tucked into one of the chairs was Master Windu, with an almost asleep Anakin cradled in his arms, telling Anakin a story that he suspected was from one of Master Qui-Gon’s failed missions.

He took a newly asleep Anakin from Master WIndu’s arms, allowing the master to stand without fear of jostling Anakin into wakefulness. “Thank you master, for looking after Ani here.”

Master Windu smiled slightly, a quirk of his lips that none of Obi-Wan’s friends would ever believe had happened, “It was my pleasure Padawan Kenobi, besides, we can’t have him growing up with only Jinn as his role model now, can we? He’d be a maverick before he can walk.”  

The Master swept out of the room, leaving Obi-Wan to tuck Anakin into bed and enjoy the peace. Or at least, until the teething gel wore off again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There might be a one-shot of Windu's point of view for this chapter to come later on, if I ever get around to writing it!


	6. In which baby gates are the Sith’s own work

When the majority of Anakin’s teething was over, the Temple breathed a collective sigh of relief and promptly slept in for near two weeks for as long as they dared, hoping to catch up on the sleep they had missed. Well most of the Temple, certain members had an entirely new nightmare to contend with. Anakin had discovered how to crawl.

The inhabitants on the Jinn-Kenobi quarters frantically ran around attempting to babyproof everything that Anakin may have been able to get his curious little hands on. Or rather Obi-Wan ran around frantically while Qui-Gon ran to have an extended sleepover at Tahl’s.

Of course, it wasn’t just necessary to block sockets and doorways and lock cupboards, not, things had to be hidden from view as well lest Anakin attempt to float things to himself. Obi-Wan had nearly had a heart attack when he walked in on Anakin holding his hands out to reach for a pot plant that was floating to him.

Because of course Anakin would manage to have more advanced Force prowess than most children.

Nothing in Obi-Wan’s life would ever be easy.

They had brought the baby-gate after Anakin managed to slip out of the door when Qui-Gon returned, his arms piled high with packages of food in apology for running out on Obi-Wan earlier. By the time they had realised what had happened, Anakin was engaged in a race with one of the mouse droids and was heading straight for the lift at the end of the corridor.

It was only luck that he had not made it to the open lift, for who knew what Anakin could have got into had he escaped their corridor into other areas of the Temple? Obi-Wan was sure he would have nightmares for weeks about that exact scenario occurring.

Qui-Gon had been sent out that very day with instructions to purchase the best baby-gate possible, preferably one with a complicated lock so that Anakin could not open it. It was a decision that everyone agreed with.

It was a decision that everyone soon regretted.

“Wiggle it a little bit while pressing on the button!”

Master Windu cursed as he tried to copy the movements they told him to, but he still could not manage to open the baby-gate. It was rather funny to see the Master of the Order baffled by a contraption meant to defeat children, except for the fact that somehow it defeated everyone.

“I can’t get this blasted thing open. Jinn, come and open it.”

Obi-Wan watched as his master’s lips curled into a smirk, he could practically see the thoughts n how his master might use this in the future to his advantage.

Qui-Gon got up and moved to open the gate, almost seamlessly, except for the fact that Obi-Wan could read the tension in his shoulders as he struggled to remember the right way to open the gate in front of an audience.

Obi-Wan merely bounced Anakin in his lap a bit harder and tried to untangle his braid yet again from Anakin’s meaty little fist.

“Master Jinn, Padawan Kenobi, Initiate Kenobi,” Master Windu nodded at them all in turn, even Anakin, “I thought you would like a warning, Master Jinn, that your former master has been recalled to the Temple. Undoubtedly he will stop by for a catch up with you, so I ask that you please try and minimise the drunk property damage this time.”

Qui-Gon grumbled as he settled back in his chair, but Obi-Wan perked up at the hope of getting some new blackmail to use on his master when he needed someone to babysit Anakin for a while.

“Can you not just send me on another mission?” Qui-Gon whined, “It would be a win-win situation for everyone! I don’t have to deal with master Dooku, Master Dooku doesn’t have to confront what a disappointment I am, and the council doesn’t need to pay for repairs to the property damage I inevitably cause while trying to drink away master Dooku’s disappointment.”

Master Windu had an expression that could be constipation or could be an attempt to hold back a laugh, Obi-Wan wasn’t sure.

“As much as the council would prefer that option, unfortunately Master Dooku has expressed interest in meeting Initiate Kenobi, and the council as a whole decided that we would rather deal with the property damage than a decade of Dooku’s complaints.”

With what Obi-Wan had heard about his grandmaster, he really couldn’t blame the council for making that decision. He too would probably choose Qui-Gon’s propensity for growing trees in hallways and drawing moustaches on statues while drunk over the complaints of Master Dooku.

Master Windu fixed Qui-Gon with a glare, “Just please try not to antagonise the man too much. If you manage to get through his visit without him complaining to the Council, and without causing excessive property damage, then your next mission will be an extended one to Scariff.”

The Council must be desperate to not have to deal with Master Dooku, missions to Scariff were like gold dust, everyone knew that those missions were just a cover for a holiday on the beach.

Qui-Gon’s face turned calculating and a bolt of dread shot down Obi-Wan’s spine, what did his master have planned now?

* * *

When the door opened Obi-Wan prepared to call out the instructions for the baby-gate, as he had for everyone that had visited them, but was cut off by a light thud.

He turned around and was shocked to see Master Yoda in the hallway, it looked like he had jumped over the gate instead of fighting to open it.

It said something about the Jedi Order that he was the first person to do that, but Obi-Wan didn’t know what that something was.

“Visiting, my padawan is.” Master Yoda said, peering up at Obi-Wan, “Your master, disappeared he has. Trying to get drunk, Master Qui-Gon is.”

Obi-Wan felt like groaning, of course his master was, Master Dooku’s transport was due to land in two hours and Qui-Gon was getting a head start on his drinking.

“I’ll go get him, master.” Obi-Wan said, “Could you keep an eye on Anakin for me?”

Master Yoda cackled, “Busy, I am. Take your child with you, you should. Need to see him, Qui-Gon might.”

Obi-Wan really had to resist the urge to pinch his nose.

“Master Yoda, are you really suggesting I take a baby to the lower levels of Coruscant? To the levels that adult Jedi are not supposed to wander alone? The levels crawling with bounty hunters and people who just generally hate us?”

“Hurry up, you should.” Master Yoda merely said, “Else trouble, Qui-Gon might find himself in.”

It looked like Obi-Wan had no choice. Sometimes it felt like he was looking after not one but two children, and this was certainly one of those times.

* * *

He had been sensible and not worn his robes to visit the lower levels of Coruscant, wearing the uniform of a Jedi was like asking to be attacked or kidnapped. He had instead worn the plain clothes he had for undercover missions and stuffed his lightsabre into the nappy bag slung over his shoulder carrying all the things Anakin might need alongside a first aid kit.

Anakin was in the baby carrier against his chest and looked very put out that he could not reach the braid that Obi-Wan had pinned back against his head. The baby was soon distracted though by the neon lights and multitude of people they passed, many of which decided to coo at the sight of them.

It was slightly humiliating the number of people who decided to tell him he was ‘a very good big brother and such a nice young man’. It was generally older women who said that, but there had been a man just a few years older than him who had leered as he said that.

Obi-Wan had picked up his pace after that.

He followed the nudges the Force sent him and the trace he had done on Master Qui-Gon’s comm, the only reason he wasn’t currently planning on murdering his master and hiding his body in the sewers was the promised mission to Scariff and the fact that his master appeared to be in one of the upper levels of the lower levels of Coruscant.

His tracer led him to what seemed to be a diner of all things, chrome and red and stinking of grease. It was not the dive bar that he had expected, and when he pushed open the door it was brightly lit and cheery.

Serving droids whizzed around and sat in a booth was a besalisk in a dirty apron and a hunched figure in a familiar brown robe.

“Hey, no kids in here.” One of the droids complained at him.

“My apologies madam, I’m looking for someone.” Obi-Wan said, putting on his most contrite tone, “Might I look around? I promise we will be quick.”

The droid looked at him with suspicion but rolled to the side to allow him to pass. Not one to look a gift bantha in the mouth Obi-Wan hurried over to the robed figure.

“Master?”

The figure looked up and it was Master Qui-Gon. A widely grinning, very obviously drunk, Qui-Gon.

“Obi-Wan! And Baby-Wan!” He slurred at them, “You found me!”

“And you, master, are drunk.” Obi-Wan sighed, “Did you forget that Master Dooku is visiting today? And that Master Windu promised that if you behave we get a nice mission to Scariff?”

Master Qui-Gon looked up at him blearily, “Scariff? I like Scariff. Its warm and there’s never anyone shooting at us.”

Obi-Wan resisted the urge to sigh again, sometimes it felt like that was all he ever did.

“Come on master, lets see if we can get you sobered up before Master Windu kills us both.”

* * *

“Why is this infernal contraption in my way?”

Obi-Wan could hear the angry voice of his grandmaster even in his room, and so determinedly did not open his door. Maybe if he and Anakin were very quiet they would not have to be subjected to Master Dooku.

His luck didn’t hold of course, his door flew open and Qui-Gon stood there with an expression that said ‘if I have to suffer so do you’.    

Obi-Wan reluctantly got to his feet and checked that Anakin was appropriately attired in a miniature version of Jedi robes he had collected from the creche specially. Technically initiates and younglings did not usually start wearing robes and tunics until their third birthday (or species equivalent), but Obi-Wan had thought it would be best for Anakin to make a good impression on Master Dooku. He tugged the white fabric back into place and prayed that the cloth would manage to remain white for longer than a few minutes.

It was unlikely but he could hope.

He emerged from his room, hoping his reluctance did not show on his face, it would not do to offend Master Dooku so early into his visit.

“Ah, Padawan Kenobi, so good to finally meet you.” Master Dooku said, “And its nice to see that someone in this lineage knows how not to look like they have just crawled out of a sewer.”

While it was true that Master Qui-Gon did not quite fit the idea of a model Jedi Master, Obi-Wan thought that description was a little harsh, especially as his master had on his formal robes (the ones without any grass stains) and had even combed his hair. And he wasn’t even visibly drunk any more, although Obi-Wan knew he could not have burned through the alcohol in his system that quickly.

“Its good to meet you as well, Master Dooku,” Obi-Wan said in the tone he used on difficult diplomats, “This is Anakin, Master Yoda said you wished to meet him.”

He held Anakin out like a shield before him, hoping the master’s piercing gaze would be turned upon the baby instead.

His hopes were not unfounded. Master Dooku took Anakin from him and held him in a way that made Obi-Wan really glad Anakin could support his own head.

The baby looked at the master and the master looked at the baby.

And then Master Dooku’s eyes softened and he curled Anakin against his chest with surprising tenderness.

“You’ve done very well with him, Padawan Kenobi, I foresee he will become a credit to our line.” He announced.

Master Qui-Gon looked like he had been hit by a speeder and Obi-Wan was sure he did as well. That was almost a compliment from Master Dooku, and from what Obi-Wan had heard they were as rare as spaceships the size of moons.

Anakin was not aware of what a momentous occurrence had just happened and decided to break the moment by batting his tiny fists against Master Dooku’s chest and letting out a demanding noise.

“Ah,” Obi-Wan tried not to et his horror at Anakin’s bad manners show “He’s hungry. If I could just take him, I can sort out his bottle before he gets any ore demanding.”

Master Dooku cuddled Anakin closer and raised a disdainful eyebrow, “I think I can handle feeding one baby, Padawan Kenobi.”

There was no way this was going to end well, but Ob-Wan did not protest. He just made up a bottle for Master Dooku to feed Anakin and hoped that Master Dooku would at least listen to him or Master Qui-Gon on the best way to feed Anakin.

Of course, Master Dooku did not listen to him or Master Qui-Gon, nor did he seem to have any idea of what a burping cloth was for. Obi-Wan did not find himself inclined to explain it, and evidently neither did his master.

They watched with no little eagerness as Master Dooku lifted Anakin to his shoulder to burp him and they were rewarded.

Master Dooku’s face froze and he looked up at them with an expression of such horror and disgust that Obi-Wan was hard pressed to keep from laughing.

Qui-Gon had no such restraint and started to laugh so hard he clutched at his sides and nearly fell to the floor.

“Padawan Kenobi, if you would be so kind as to take your brat from me.” Master Dooku said with barely restrained anger, “It seems I am in need of a change of clothes.”

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! 
> 
> Feel free to chat with me about my works on tumblr @istaricelebelasse


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